Self-Acceptance
By Roddy Ward
I have worked for years with successful athletes and while I am not a specialist in mental performance, I have acquired insights and seen commonalities in those I have worked with. People often look at successful athletes like they have transcended human flaws or insecurities. That they have elevated themselves above the problems that us mere mortals face. While high performers have taken significant steps to improve themselves time and time again, they are not immune to the common insecurities that we all face. All athletes have struggles with self acceptance.
It's common for athletes to lose belief in themselves. The athlete & coaching journey is full of ups and downs and it’s very easy to focus on the most immediate results. When things are going well, self-belief is easy, but when they are going poorly, one can think an entire career is teetering on the edge of collapse. This is a problem because it’s never always going to go well, for anyone. We need to ride those ups and downs and that involves accepting ourselves through both the good and bad times.
Self acceptance can be described as “an individuals’ unconditional acceptance of all of their attributes, both positive and negative”. This includes self protection from negative criticism, belief in one’s capabilities, and acceptance of our mind and body the way they are.
The self acceptance journey starts at self awareness. We can all develop better self awareness. Here we discover our ever-evolving strengths, weaknesses, superpowers, and faulty mindset patterns. Many people avoid self awareness entirely. Too scared to even look “under the hood” in fear of what could be lurking upon discovery. Or just too lazy to engage in daily journaling or reflecting in another way. If you currently do work to uncover greater self-awareness, then I salute you. You are already among the “mental” elite.
As we develop self awareness, we will uncover things about who we currently are and how we currently behave or react. Sometimes this can be a hard pill to swallow. Insecurities are extremely common, even among great athletes and coaches. What we must do next is believe we are already more than enough, just the way we are. We must fully accept our strengths and weaknesses and love ourselves just the same. We need to not only focus on how we can be better but remember why we are amazing as well. We need to remind ourselves of all that we have gone through to get to where we are now, and the incredible growth that was necessary. When we can truly accept ourselves and appreciate the growth that has already taken place, we will grow a healthy desire to seek self improvement. We will set healthy intentions for growth, grounded in self love, that will be a catalyst to positive change in our lives and performance. Without self-acceptance our desire to improve can become toxic, leading to anxiety, eating disorders, etc.
There are many ways to build self-acceptance with many resources online, but just like anything in life, we see improvement when we set intentions and consistently do the work. For myself, it has been helpful to embrace what makes me unique, treat others with kindness, intentionally keep a positive outlook, and practice gratitude daily.
Lately, I have seen increased requests for work to improve athlete & coach mindsets. Athletes and coaches are seeing the value of mental training more and more. They see this as a ticket to improvement in their performance and enjoyment of the process. This is great and powerful work, but I strongly suggest while taking time to improve your mental performance game, you take the time to accept yourself the way you are, to love yourself despite all those things you want to improve. If you can do that, you will have the foundation for heathy self improvement.
If your team is interested in building stronger athlete minds through developing self-awareness, self-acceptance, and growth mindsets, consider reaching out roddyward@remodic.com
Out for a classic ski in Banff National Park, during our latest deep freeze.
